2019 - The good , the bad, and the ugly. Travel, breweries, and family issues

Each year on New Years Day I take time to reflect on the past year.   Some years are wonderful.  Some are uneventful.  And some I am just glad to see be over.   2019 was one of those years.   There were good moments.   And then there were some bad ones.   Nothing unusual about that.  But the bad ones seemed to be overwhelming this year.

Mark changed jobs twice this year.   The bank where he was employed was sold and he had to find a new job.  This was a bad situation that worked for the best.   He found a new job well before the bank finally closed so he was never really unemployed.   He phoned me from work one morning and said to me I start the new job in two weeks.   So lets plan a last minute trip before I start the new job.  I am never one to turn down a chance to travel.  Out of nowhere we decided to go to Milan.

I love Milan.  I had been to Milan once before in 2002.   But many people are unimpressed with Milan.  On my first trip even the woman at the ticket counter in the airport asked me "Why Milan?"  So I was bit concerned Mark might be unimpressed also.  But I had nothing to worry about.   Mark loved Milan as much or even more than I do. 

Mark chilling at a ristorante in the Galleria in Milan

We also had the chance to take a train to Bergamo while in Milan.

Beautiful Bergamo

Also on this trip I had the chance to return to my beloved Switzerland.  And any year I can visit Switzerland is a good year.  While in Milan we took a side trip to Lugano.  It was definitely Switzerland but it also had a very Italian feel to it.  It's right on the border of Switzerland and Italy.  There is just something about Switzerland that captures my spirit even if they are speaking Italian.

The beautiful Lugano Switzerland

Mark started his new job after we returned and it worked well for him.  But then out of nowhere he received another job offer.   The job had a good increase in salary and also was a much better commute for him.  So after just a few months he bid farewell to the new job and started his adventure to a job in our neighboring county.     And he really likes the job and everyone who is working there.  Even though I have said this was not a great year for us, work wise it's been a great year for Mark.

Because Mark was in a new job we were not able to travel this summer.  But don't feel bad for us.  We spent every weekend this summer visiting local breweries in the Maryland, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Virginia area.   It was great fun.   We were entertained every weekend.  And we got to try both very good and some mediocre beers.  But even mediocre beer isn't all bad. 

RAR Brewery - Cambridge Maryland

The year was going well.   Mark was enjoying his second new job of the year.  My daughter Katie was hired for a new position with a large increase in salary.   And then the ball dropped.  My daughter Danielle was made redundant at her job.  She was completely unprepared.  She was given a small severance package.  And she remained unemployed the rest of the year.   Then to add fuel to fire her wife was let go from her job also at the end of year.  We are all hoping after the holidays are over they will be be able to find new jobs the first of 2020,

In November we were able to travel once more.   Our friend Gillian from Manchester, England joined us for a week in Hawaii.  It was Mark and my fourth trip to Hawaii.  And once more we were overwhelmed. 

December found us with two more problems.   My daughter had to have cervical surgery.  She had to have a disc replaced in her neck.   Then her boyfriend had emergency surgery two weeks before Christmas.    To top all of this, Danielle and her wife were unable to join us for Christmas due to their job situation.   We had a very uneventful Christmas missing Danielle and Andrea.  We spent the morning on our Iphones with face time opening presents together.

We lost some dear friends this year.   A beloved extended family member passed away on Christmas Day.   We lost family members in Mark's family. And we lost a beloved little dog named Kobi who has been a part of our family for fifteen years.  We have continued to watch Mark's Mom slowly fade away to the monster of Alzheimers.   But we still have so much to grateful for. And we have a lot to look forward to in 2020.  We are already planning some travel for February.  I am assured Danielle will find new employment.  I have a 50th high school reunion in mid 2020.   2020 you are the beginning of  a new decade.  We are counting on you to start of this decade better than the last one ended.

Christmas Tea

I love the Christmas season.  It's my favorite time of the year.  But I also find that I am easily depressed during the Christmas season also.  I don't enjoy Thanksgiving.  I find it too sad and depressing each year as I grow older.  There are so many memories of family and those who are no longer with us.  I try to skip right past those old photos of Mom's house with the roast turkey and the family around the table.  It's just too difficult remember my grandmother and my aunts and the rest of the family.  Once I get past Thanksgiving I jump right into the Christmas season.  I start watching Christmas movies.  I break out the Christmas CD's for my car.  And I look for something new each year to make me smile.

It's all very commercial and superficial. And I know this. But I love the trees.  The ornaments.  Even the silly Santa hats.  I try to find one thing for myself each year that will make the holidays brighter.  Two years ago I bought this silly Chevy Chase Griswald's Christmas mug.  Nothing spectacular.  Just a silly mug.  Now it's part of my Christmas tradition and makes me smile each year.  It's much better than the sadness of those old photos from Thanksgiving.  We have tacky Marilyn Monroe mugs that my daughter Danielle bought me for Christmas one year that we now break out on Christmas morning each year for our morning coffee.  There are special plates and dishes we set out for our holiday snacks and sweets.   Yes there are problems in the world and in our country.  And I know I am blessed and have so much to be thankful for that it's silly to get overly sentimental on the holidays.  But something stupid like a holiday mug with Chevy Chase on the front makes me smile.

Last year I bought a special holiday tea to have in the Chevy Chase mug.  It was called Christmas Cookie.  It was terrible!  After steeping it was a cloudy grey mess in mug.  It look like dirty aquarium water.  So the mug made me smile and the tea made me gag.  Not quite the experience I was hoping for.

This year as I prepared for the day to bring out my Chevy Chase Christmas mug I was hoping to find a better tea.  I found one called Cranberry Vanilla Wonderland.  I knew just looking at the package that this would be the one.  It had Cranberry and Vanilla and came in a beautiful Christmassy package.  It was perfect.  The herbs and probably the dye turned my mug into a beautiful red cranberry color unlike the mucky dirty aquarium water from last years selection.  It had a warm vanilla and cranberry scent to it that would be great for a candle also.  So today being a little stressed with finances for the holiday this year, trying to work Christmas spending into a tight budget, I sat down to chill and reflect.  With the cranberry vanilla tea, my holiday mug and a deep cleansing sigh I am ready to forge on and plan tomorrows holiday experience.  I am so glad I found the tea.  It could have turned out much worse.

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Let it be known I love Christmas.  I am like a big kid over the Christmas holidays.  Looking back on Christmas's past is something I do every year as I am decorating the house and putting up the Christmas trees.  Some of the memories are sweet and wonderful.  Others are sad and difficult.  But I cherish all of my Christmas memories and look forward to the new memories to be made each year.

The first Christmas I can remember was in 1955.  I was three years old.  It's one of my earliest childhood memories.  I don't remember a lot about that Christmas now almost sixty years later of course, but I do remember the present I received that year.  We lived in a little three room house on Otsego Street in Havre de Grace, Maryland.

The house still stands and is still occupied today.  I had my daughter take a photo of me by the house this year on my birthday.  I remember the dalmatian dog that was my first pet when we lived in this house.  I can remember the kitchen of the house and how it looked.  I don't remember much of anything else about the house.  But I do have my first Christmas memory.  I received a play set of pots and pans for Christmas.  I am not sure why my parents bought me pots and pans.  Maybe I played with my mother's pot and pans in the kitchen.  Maybe I asked for them.   I don't know.  But I do know my parents did not buy me any toy guns that year, or toy trucks, or plastic cowboys and Indians.  They had Santa bring me pots and pans.  I can remember the box they came in and how excited I was opening the box on Christmas morning.  Or was it really Christmas morning?  This first wonderful Christmas memory of mine was not the best Christmas for my parents.  My father's mother died from uterine cancer on Christmas Eve this same year.  So I am somewhat sure that if I did actually open up the box of pots and pans on Christmas morning my father was not there to see me open the gift.  Most likely they celebrated Christmas morning with me a few days after Christmas, or perhaps a few days before if they knew my grandmothers death was near.

I don't remember anything about my grandmother's death or funeral.  At the age of three I am sure my parent's protected me from seeing the sorrow and the grief they were going through.  But they must have made that Christmas special for me any way because I  still remember the gift and the joy I had opening it that Christmas morning.

One of my least favorite Christmas memories is the Christmas the year my ex wife and I were in the midst of divorcing.  We were still living in our house but we were not living together.  We lived in separate rooms and led separate lives.  But when you have small children you still have to put on a happy face especially on Christmas morning.  I remember not wanting to exchange gifts with my ex wife that year because it all would have been a lie.  I talked to my mother about it and how difficult it was trying to put on a show for Christmas.  She told me there were many years when she and my father had put on shows for Christmas for my sister and I even when their hearts were not in it.  She never went into specifics or shared any stories of individual bad Christmas's for them.  But she did ask me if I remembered any childhood Christmas's when we were not all happy.  And I did not.

To my knowledge my daughter never knew that would be our last Christmas together as a family.  I can remember watching them opening their gifts that year and laughing with them as they opened them.  And I can remember feeling like the worst parent in the world that year.  I remember holding back my tears and putting on a smile much the way my parents did that year my grandmother died on Christmas Eve.  But their smiles were worth the price.  They were happy that morning and have carried with them the memory of one last happy Christmas together with their parents.

We have had good and bad Christmas's since that Christmas.  Their mother and I have worked through our hurts and differences and are better friends now than when we were married.  They both have their own homes now and their own trees and are making their own memories each year.  And there is still something magical having them in my house on Christmas morning opening gifts, laughing and taking photos each year .   Christmas memories.  I would not trade one of them.